Trip Report 

Plymouth - 9/10th April
By Ben Furlong

Fantastically the trip started with plenty of faff. I always worry that a trip won’t be any fun if there isn’t enough faff to begin with because it’s always an indicator of the fun to come. The initial faff came in the form of sorting out picking up the boat and kit. Kath, Louise and I were left to sort out the kit whilst the ‘men’ went to get the boat. Half an hour later we began to worry that the boat had eaten them. Luckily they did eventually show up with the boat and we prepared to leave and pick everyone up.

Leaving Portsmouth everyone was in high spirits and it wasn’t long before we began a gargantuan game of eye-spy covering practically every object between Portsmouth and Plymouth. Amusingly we found out that Doug is crap at eye-spy unless it involved the knickers hanging in front of his face.

We arrived at Plymouth at about 9.30 and were greeted by a smiling, portly stranger who turned out to be Andy. We then descended onto Plymouth for a few pints of Hunni Bunny in the Mariners. Only manly men (such as me) were able to order Hunni Bunny without feeling insecure. Most disturbingly that evening a hot waitress decided shed rather show Ricky her breasts rather than me when reaching to grab the empties, all I got was back! After a couple of games of thumbs, the loser having to wear earlier mentioned pants we grabbed a kebab and headed for our beds. Although all was not well in the kebab house, Al was rather unhappy when the gentleman serving him decided to place his kebab meat on the chips rather than in the pitta bread, cue drama!

Waking up early Saturday morning after having Doug cough his guts out all night keeping even those furthest from him awake, poor Giles, we were greeted by Poppy’s greasy full breakfast, marvelous!! Then we trekked down to Mayflower Marina and prepared to launch the boat. As expected the faff came into its own and tempers flared as everyone crossed their wires and no one really knew what to do. Once again Lou, Kath and myself hid and avoided all the trouble. Instead they attempted to teach me how to do the thing where you run and jump and kick your feet together to no avail. The boats did eventually hit the water and we did eventually load them up, then we hit the high seas!

We rocked up to HMS Scylla just after midday and all did a dive. The wreck was fantastic especially with the sun streaming down on it. During my dive with Andy he managed to get an urchin in his finger and we found one of the live feeds to the Aquarium and posed. Lou also informed me that she spotted ‘Phone Ben for Bum Fun’ whilst she wrote ‘UPSAC rules’ on the helicopter deck, thanks John and Stu.

After the dive we returned to the Marina some went to fill the cylinders whilst others went to look for the crack. We then went on the hunt for pasties only to find the shop had sold out, luckily Giles turned up with the last four. We had a drink and some food by the sea front picked up the cylinders and headed back to the B&B.

After sprucing ourselves up we headed for the pub whilst playing jump Plymouth. It was most amusing to see Andy try and jump over a bar only to fail and end up spinning round it. Once we had all eaten and had a few pints the merriment began. A huge game of ? (not got a name for it yet) , Which involved sliding glasses around the table trying to add more and more items in and get faster and faster. Much to the pubs relief and our dismay we didn’t break anything. Then we hit Smokey Joe's for some drinks then the Mariners at which point some very tired people went home whilst the rest hit the Quay club.

(Do you want to add something about the Quay club in here?) – Nope, only to say that Giles Got Sweaty, Doug nearly got punched, Stu got pissed etc etc. -Rich)

Sunday morning saw several people arising extremely rough looking, much to the people who went home early for some sleeps amusement. In particular Giles was looking ropey after his world class dancing techniques in the Quay club. Sunday involved a lot less faff and we managed to get out to the James Eagan Layne relatively early for some fantastic diving. The only disaster to speak of was Giles’ run of bad luck. Initially having trouble with his new regs and having to bin the dive to swap kit on the boat. After swapping the kit and attempting to join the second wave tragedy struck again as his teeth were affected by the pressure. 

In the afternoon we took the boats out and dived on the crack.

(While locating the crack, which is near a rock that rises to about 2.5m, we asked Ben to stick his head over side to see if he could see it, he nearly jumped out of skin and came up yelling “It’s right below us!!! - don’t think he realised it would be so close!!!) - Rich

It was nice peaceful dive with lots of scenery and life to look at. After surfacing and de-kitting we played between the boats a bit and Rich and John played an evil joke on me. I stood on the bow thinking John would take my photo then Rich reversed so I was standing over the sea as opposed to the RIB. Afterwards we raced Ricky back to Mayflower to recover the boats and pack up. 

Then we headed back to Portsmouth very happy and very tired divers. As a point of interest on the way home Al’s team won Tippit twenty five to thirteen against Rich’s team, so well done Al, Stu and Lou