Trip Report 

The Bottom of the Jolly Sailor - 16 Dec 05 
By Ben Furlong

The day started at 10 a.m. for me and Graham whilst I assume many of you were still off in the land of nod having many a dream of puppy dogs and candy (which is prison talk for dirty things). We had to start so early to inform Santa of what presents we needed and what time he needed to be arriving at the party. Apparently he needs to know in advance because reindeer parking in Portsmouth is atrocious! Once that was taken care of we unwound with a fry up and doing a whole lot of nothing.

We arrived at the Jolly Sailor at 4 p.m. many of you were probably still asleep at that point or might as well have been, lazy student bums!! Anyway on arrival we started to blow up balloons. . . . . . . .

Two hours later we finished blowing up the balloons!

After regaining consciousness from blowing up all those frigging balloons we decided it was high time for a drink. Then began my descent into drunkenness. Everyone started to arrive about 7.30 by which time I had the barmaid under my spell, ask Graham and Pablo. Much drinking was done until the food arrived and then drinking resumed until Santa made his grand appearance! Sorry don’t remember much in between! Although I may have tried to amuse myself by attempting to sabotage one of my housemates sharking endeavours, he he!

Sometime after Santa’s visit whilst sitting minding my own business feeling incredibly sorry for myself. I was attempting to get as much sympathy from attractive young ladies as possible when suddenly I was most unkindly woodruffed by my supposed wingman, Stu of all people. Sadly my system couldn’t handle it and a tactical decision was made. Alas it was less dignified than I had originally hoped and apparently I was calling for Jamie L to come to my aid. Not very ladylike.

After emerging everyone appeared to have hit the dance floor with vigor, none so much as Graham who seemed to have showered in all his clothes! Then things carried on in that manner with Rich taking the role of DJ for his rocking scandals set until we all moved on. 

I’m afraid that’s pretty much all I remember of the Jolly Sailor and what happened. Someone must have a more in depth idea of the debauchery that occurred and you are all actively encouraged to write your own bit on what happened at the UPSAC xmas party 05. Who knows maybe between us we can even piece the whole night together! 

Also after looking through the photos of that night I think I may have spotted a future contender as Gordon. I have spotted five strikes with his arm around a woman or a hand in an unusual place! Well done that man!